*YAWN*
Yesterday I went for a short walk to the store to get some grape juice to drink with my pizza, since I can’t have wine. It was the first time I trusted myself to go to the store alone and I made it through without buying any cigarettes. Good for me.
I did buy some scratch’n'wins, and won at least some of my money back. That was fun, but I would have preferred the Cash for Life.
Anyway, so the walk there and back was really nice and altogether too short. I was looking forward to today when I had planned to go for a walk with Kabuki, but then she called and said she wasn’t up to it. And instead of going out on my own anyway, I worked until I was plum tuckered and didn’t do any exercise at all. Now I feel like a sloth.
I am trying to figure out how to counter the exhaustion I am feeling daily without turning to new addictions—i.e. caffeine. I don’t drink coffee or soda to speak of and only drink black tea occasionally. So when I took my one major stimulant out of my diet, I left myself susceptible to some serious sleepiness! *Yawn!*
So I am figuring that out. Maybe walks would help. Maybe I should take an hour long break in the day and go for a walk. If the elevators in my building worked at all I might take shorter, more frequent walking breaks, but in this place, that would be a grave waste of time. I do have to figure out how to take breaks from work now that I don’t take them to smoke, but that is a post for another day. I am too tired to get into it right now.
Anyway, M. is going off to do some yoga in a bit so perhaps I shall walk her there and get out of the house after all. I need some air. Is it wrong to admit I kinda hope I will pass a smoker to get a whiff of some delicious second hand smoke?
I kinda thought so, too.
4 comments
Dude. It’s *so* not wrong to want to smell other smokers. I do the same thing. I think it’s natural, actually! In fact, I find that it helps. I realized really quickly the first time I stopped smoking that the smell of smoke starts becoming disgusting really quickly after quitting. You find you want it now, but (and I swear this happened as little as two weeks after I quit) it goes away. Really quickly.
Honestly, I became kind of addicted to smelling good, so I stopped stalking random smokers on the street. I’m thinking the same thing will probably happen for you. Or it won’t! And that’s okay, too. You’re doing a great thing right now, and I understand how shitty it is to deal with. Just keep on truckin’ and do whatever it is you need to do to deal with not reaching for the cigs, including walking inappropriately close to smokin’ strangers.
I think, as an alternative break, tea can be good (though not as a stimulant!). It’s actually great that you are getting yourself through the whole lack of stimulants, by not replacing it… I think it must be super-hard to do that… I hate going without coffee… gives me headaches etc, and it makes me think it’s a bad, bad thing. And I think even though it takes a while to get past it, if you can get through that lack of stimulant, you can at least be free of that particular part of the smoking bug as well. Cos, forget the nicotine and the actual smoking part being bad, having something that acts as a permanent stimulant isn’t good either (tell me about it!!!!!).
Yes, I do make tea, but tend to bring it right back to my desk and drink it while working…. So I haven’t been good about disciplining myself in that regard. It’s funny to think of disciplining oneself to sit back and do nothing. I guess after having gone through the disciplining process it takes to successfully work from home, I have to unlearn a bit of my overzealous work ethic and give myself a rest!!
[...] am trying to get out of the house anyway, though, so I won’t end up feeling crappy like I did last week. Last time we quit together we fell off the wagon together as well, and Kabuki noted—quite [...]
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