So Michelle has been running a lot lately, tuning up to do a half-marathon in September. To get into things, she also joined the Beaches Jazz Tune-Up, a run/walk event that included 20, 10 and 5k distances. Being an avid walker myself, I figured I would join her that morning by walking the 5k while she ran the 10.

The run went well for Michelle, albeit not so much for me. She started with a specific time group and then ended up outpacing them, which was neat-o! I was really proud of her on her first 10k. Then, after she had already finished, she came out to join me in finishing the last 100m stretch of my 5k, which had started after her run. I was doing the running man dance and throwing my hands in the air and she was doing the Chariots of Fire pose as we crossed the finish line. Fun stuff.

Thankfully we had that, because my walk/run was otherwise not very fun at all! I have been to many a walk/run event before; usually the 20k and 10k events are filled with runners and the 5k is half and half or so. This one was put on by the Running Room, a (mostly) Canadian chain of stores made by and for crazy running cult people. However, they also have products and clinics for the “walking room”, and I saw a number of folks there with their little pedometers and other assorted gadgets that are meant to indicate how seriously you take your athleticism. So I figured I would be among walkers…but no.

When the walk began, the megaphone dude only really referred to the runners while announcing, and suggested that we would finish in 20 minutes or so. Um… I don’t think so. I dropped back to the area with the pedometer people. Then the run began, and the front people started running while the back appeared as though they would walk, but then, as if a wave ran through the crowd from front to back, people started to jog, even the ones that clearly weren’t there for that. It’s like they were afraid of being last or something. There was only one other woman walking, and she was a power walker, and then there was me. At the very end. Taking my sweet time.

I thought I would up my pace and keep up with power walker lady, maybe make a buddy, so I amped it up. But as soon as I caught up to her, she jogged away from me! Then went back to her walking. So I tried again, and again she jogged away! So I was like, fuck this, and I jogged, leaving her behind. Then I saw some joggers that had finally given up and gone back to walking and tried to catch up with them, maybe make some buddies. Guess what happened when I caught up to them? Yeah, they jogged away. Apparently I smell. So I just walked faster than their jogging and left them behind. I didn’t try to make any more buddies, but I did jog about half the distance and my muscles are “thanking” me for it today.

I’m just glad I had my iPod, and I am glad Michelle showed up at the end of the race just as the Ting Tings were coming on, so I could dance around in circles instead of walking or jogging and show these crazy Running Room people how to put the “fun” in Fun Run.

So then after the race we wanted to go to the Jazz Festival in the neighboring park, but we were sweaty and stuff so we had the bright idea to pack along some equipment for swimming at the free community pool right next to the beach. What a great pool! I was shocked. Olympic size, clean, not too crowded, separate kids’ pool and rules keeping minors out of the big pool until they pass the deep water test, and did I mention it’s FREE? Of course swimming after running more than you are ever used to running (I don’t even run for the bus) was a bit of a bad idea. Muscles! Tired! But it was still really nice.

Then we went off to see Lady Son y Articulo Vientes at Jazz Fest and she was fantastic. I have a big crush on Lady Son. The acts that followed were crap in comparison. But we stayed and drank beer all day anyway.

She really is a bizarre woman, that Isabella Rossellini; it’s well enough known already. But this really crowns the heap for me: having recently participated in the Festival Pocket Films, a festival dedicated to short videos shot on cellphone cameras, Ms. Rossellini submitted a film series on the sex lives of insects titled Green Porno.

Here is an excerpt from The Brisbane Times:

Now she has donned fake bug eyes, wings and bee-stripes for the playful mini-films, which she also wrote and produced—adding a dash of stardom to the offbeat festival, which broke new ground when it was first held in 2005.

“If I were a firefly, I would light up my ass at night,” she declares, dressed as the insect of the first film’s title, before buzzing off to explain the creature’s mating habits.

“I have sex several times a day,” she says in another, posing as a regular fly, before demonstrating by mounting a huge toy bluebottle from behind. . . .

“At Sundance, there are lots of ‘green’ programs - about eating eco-labelled food, dressing and building your house with ecological materials,” Rossellini said. “I said to Robert: ‘What’s missing is a ‘green porno’!”

She is so weird!! I love her.

Full article here: The Brisbane Times

Wow, since Michelle moved to Toronto I have been watching a lot more movies. I used to just wait for them to come out on TV and then suffer through the edits and commercials. So it’s true what they say: laziness is bad for you. We’ve seen a bunch more movies lately and I thought I would share a few words about them. (more…)

I thought the sexist, homophobic, racist ad campaign was bad enough. But no. It gets worse. Canadian Club has hired people to stage a fake protest at the Sex and the City premiere in Toronto. They’ll be yelling things like “Hey hey, ho ho, girly drinks have got to go!” No, really. You can read all about it in the Globe and Mail.

*boggles*

Because apparently it isn’t enough to simply advertise to a specific population of men with images and text that subjugate women, queers and any men who don’t fit into their target audience; they have to go to places where they know members of those subjugated groups will be and harass and jeer at them as well.

But if we don’t like it, we just can’t take a joke, right?

So Michelle’s Canadian Club Adbusting Project has spread its little wings and flown throughout many unexpected places on the internet. I guess we weren’t the only ones whose danders were up over the campaign. Beyond reaching myriad other blogs across Canada, the U.S. and even the U.K., Michelle’s work even gained the attention of the Beam Global corporation itself, although we have yet to see what pans out there. And yesterday a woman writing for a magazine in Chicago interviewed Michelle about the project, so maybe we’ll draw some more attention to this project, or at least to the ad campaign itself. Can a person hope for a change? I am a cynic, but secretly I hope Beam Global will at least *think* about changing their advertising tactics. You can read about the project updates on Michelle’s blog.

In the meantime, I was thinking more about this ad campaign and I just can’t figure out what the ad execs were thinking making this ad for whisky:

(click on image to see larger size)

My first thought looking at this guy was a flashback to the date-rapey parties of my youth, which is just not a good campaign. But thinking on it more I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, like maybe they meant that gas-guzzling SUVs and minivans are largely unnecessary, although I highly doubt anyone who remembers the muffler-free muscle cars of the 70s and early 80s would argue that our ‘dads’ were any more considerate to the environment. Even so, I can’t put this picture together with that thought. All of the press surrounding this ad campaign talks about reviving masculinity and old school ‘MANners’, as the marketing executive herself has stated. It’s the ‘cool average guy’ thing they’re selling, the guy who has a van so he can get it on in the back. Who am I kidding?

But further, the idea of using a guy with his van, whatever his reasons were for having one, to sell alcohol just gets me going again, this time not necessarily because of my feminist or queer sensibilities (although the ad certainly has offended me on those levels as well), but because of the implication that in the past, it was ‘cool’ to drink and drive. Like, hey, your dad lived through it, so it must not have been too bad, right? I remember taking driver’s education classes when I was 16 and the teacher told us tales of his youth when driving home drunk from parties was part of his coming of age into 1970s prairie masculinity. Guys would trade stories of just how drunk they were while behind the wheel, and the more trashed the more manly they were. So again, I think Beam Global has made a disastrous choice in what parts of masculinity to ‘revive’ (as though masculinity has ever been absent from alcohol advertising) with this ad campaign.

Thus, I made another poster to add to the pool:

Because really, your dad shouldn’t be drinking whisky and driving his van.

One of my favourite places in the whole wide world is Riverdale Farm, which is handy because it is just a five minute walk from my place! I love having a farm in the middle of the city. If I ever get a nostalgic Alberta-girl hankering for the aroma of cow paddy in the air, I just walk down through Cabbagetown to get my fix!

For those who may not have caught the sarcasm, I never miss Alberta. My family, sure, but not the province itself. I must admit that the whiff of cow dung does remind me of my youth, though; I lived in a house on the edge of a small town surrounded by wheat fields and cattle farms. Cow shit = Spring.

But I am not here to write about cows or Alberta or my rural upbringing. *Yawn* Sorry! No. I am here to talk about goats! The goats at Riverdale Farm were pregnant and expected to give birth “mid-May” according to the signs. M and I have been going down to the farm every week in hopes of seeing baby goats, but as of Sunday those does were super fat, but there were no kids in sight.

(click any photo to see larger version)

Well this morning my friend Kabuki and I went for a little walk and decided to check the status on the critters and what do you know? BABY GOATS! One of the black Nubian goats gave birth to triplets, fittingly, on Mother’s Day. The little black ones have polka dots!!

It was dark in there and I didn’t want to interrupt the bonding and whatnot with flash photography, so the photos are a wee bit on the blurry side. The brown Nubian gave birth to a wee little critter on May 12. I guess that’s why she wasn’t as big as the other two.

Schmoooo! Then the second black Nubian goat gave birth last night to three little spotted kids. They can barely even stand on their own yet!

They’re so cute! The little black ones were jumping around at each other for awhile in that cute sideways way that goats have, which led to many a blurred photo for me because I was enamoured.

Meanwhile the little brown kid just lay there snoozing peacefully near her mom.

Sooner or later the other kids tired themselves out, too, and formed a little mountain of ADORABLENESS in the corner of the pen!

Look at the proud mommy! She’s not quite so humongous now.

Oh my dog I love goats so much!!

Michelle posted a fantastic critique and project in response to Canadian Club’s idiotic “Your Dad” ad campaign (like repackaging “Golden Age” knuckle-dragging is going to help sell that crap whiskey anyway!). I think her summary of all the ways that ad campaign is just so wrong covers pretty much anything I would have said. Actually I can always say more about stuff like that, but I have been up since four and am too tired to add eloquent critical analysis to the discussion. So instead I will just present my contribution to the “Your Mom” project:

(click on image to see larger size)

In an attempt not to go out so much and to save money, Michelle and I have been renting a lot of movies recently. I have to say, I am a bit disappointed with most of the year’s so-called “best” offerings…except for one. There are definitely spoilers in here, so be warned. (more…)

I dreamt of Armageddon last night, but before the world ended it was foreseen in a Monty Python movie, Monty Python and the End of Days. I was watching it with Michelle; first the people gasped, then the sky went dark, then there was a fireworks show to celebrate the coming of the end, and then, before anyone was quite prepared, a streak of light came down in contrast to the fireworks going up, and everyone was like, is this it? Some voice in the crowd (it was my voice; I was now in the movie) said, “No, this isn’t the end.” Then the mushroom came up and the sky began to turn white and the same (my) voice said, “This is the–” Whiteout. And the movie was over. This was apparently funny.

But then we knew it was actually happening, and we heard the people gasping outside, so we knew it had begun. The fireworks began and I was running late. I went off to brush my teeth and noticed that I was satisfied with the music playing being the last music I ever heard before I died. I think it was the Ting Tings, which just goes to show how fickle I am with music. Whatever I like at the time might be the last I ever hear and I am okay with that. So I brushed my teeth. I am not sure why it was so important to me to have my teeth brushed; I guess I am used to brushing my teeth before going to sleep and this was going to be the Long Goodnight. But the fireworks were already going and I was still brushing my teeth when I just wanted to be cuddled up with M, waiting for it to end, but before I could spit, everything went white, and then the white turned into the bedroom ceiling and I lay there with my eyes open, trying to figure out whether I had somehow survived the end of the world or I had just awoken.

Obviously it was the latter.

It’s been a long time since I have had to use html or done any web design. The last code I learned in school was Pascal programming. I’m old. Well, perhaps only in the world of computers, where five years is geriatric territory, but still. What I am trying to say is I haven’t done this in awhile. I have certainly never even *touched* things like CSS and Javascript. Heavens, that is for smart people!

However, with a little borrowed code and many a question to my illustrious Michelle, I have finally crafted what i think is a pretty nifty looking splash page for my subdomain. Click the image below to see it:

The nice part about it is that it mirrors and compliments (in my humble opinion) the page that Michelle set up for her side of the site. See? (click below)

I think it looks nice. And not being very familiar with this advanced code (who knew the < center > tag is no longer viable?), I must admit I am impressed with myself. Go me!